How Teens Can Make Real Friends Even If You’re Shy

So, a much as I understand the preference towards and the benefits of being alone for introverts, you’ve got to put yourself out there at least a few times a month. Of course, this can be much easier said than done, especially for shy students or those with social anxiety. At the same time, if you continue to avoid making the first move, your anxiety may build stronger over time. If you’re able to face your fear, you might surprise yourself by realizing that it’s not as scary as you feared it would be. When you see people at parties, sporting events, or big campus events either in person or on social media, it might feel like those are the only places where you could possibly meet friends. While those can be venues for making connections, they’re certainly not the only places to make new friends.

Over time, small gestures like this can turn into real conversations. Parents want to know that their children are safe, and students want to Eastern Honeys review feel secure in their school environment. Colleges are committed to providing a safe environment for students, staff, and families. The support of family plays a crucial role in students’ well-being and safety on campus…. By attending events that align with their interests, your student can cross paths with other like-minded students. Plus, the event can be an initial topic of conversation, giving your student an easy way to engage with others.

How to make friends if you're shy

If you’re struggling to make friends in college, you’re not alone. Even though you may not hear others talking about this issue, many students experience this, and therapy can help. Whether you have social anxiety, struggle with your self-esteem, or simply identify as shy, therapy can help you get to the root of your challenges in making friends in college. At sporting events, every student is bonded by the shared desire for their team to win.

Social anxiety or feeling out of place in new situations can create barriers to starting meaningful connections. However, building friendships is entirely possible with the right mindset and strategies. But connection doesn’t require you to be the most outgoing person in the room. In fact, it often starts quietly — with a shared glance of uncertainty, a simple, “Hey, is this seat taken? If making friends at school feels hard, it’s okay — and it doesn’t have to stay that way. Let’s explore why it can feel so difficult to break in, and real-world strategies for building friendships that feel authentic, even if the first step feels daunting.

Aside from that, focus on clubs, classes, teams, or volunteer positions that are longer-term, or that go for a few weeks at the very least. The good news is that once they’ve gotten used to someone, the worst is over for many shy people. As hard as they are on themselves, their conversation skills and personality are actually fine. Though if you’re shy and also have less-developed people skills, you can fix that too. Of course, in the long run the best thing to do is address your shyness directly, but I get that not everyone is in a place in their lives where they can do that right this minute. If you try any of these suggestions realize they’re a second-best alternative.

There’s nothing wrong with those relationships, but that won’t be covered here. For extroverted people, saying hello and making casual conversation is such an easy thing, but definitely for me back in September, it was something I had to make a conscious effort to do. A friendly smile really can go a long way and helps to get a conversation going. Generally, introverts don’t like small talk and prefer deeper conversation, but I think it’s a good way to start a friendship with somebody.

Strategies For Lunch And Social Events

  • What’s important to remember is that friendship is a journey, and it can take some time and effort.
  • Here’s a look at how to meet friends in college when your student is attending an online school.
  • For a shy person, approaching people may already feel difficult.
  • You’ll discover how to embrace your unique qualities while finding ways to engage with others in a way that feels authentic to you.

Also, look at events organized by your city hall that promote socialization. This familiarity with a place and its regulars can create a sense of comfort and facilitate interactions. This demonstrates that you value your conversational partner’s opinion, which is fundamental in establishing a bond of trust and mutual respect. Now, I suggest moving on to the second tip which is to use social networks to your advantage.

Then, when they meet in class after that discussion, engaging in person might seem less daunting. By learning how to make good friends in college, it’s easier to create those critical opportunities to engage with others. As a result, your student’s odds of success go up, making the effort worthwhile.

Working on your inner confidence is key to making friends, especially if you’re on the shyer end of the personality spectrum. In this article, we’ll guide you through seven practical tips for overcoming shyness and making friends. Whether you’re in a new social setting or trying to meet new people, these tips will help you break the ice and foster lasting connections. Plus, we’ll show you how games like the Pick Me Up Party Game can be a fun, low-pressure way to get to know others. Online platforms offer a comfortable space for shy introverts to connect with like-minded individuals.

You’ll meet people with similar passions, allowing conversations to flow more easily. Making friends as a shy introvert involves understanding your social comfort levels and taking manageable steps. Here are some effective strategies that encourage genuine connections. Look for activities or groups centered around things you enjoy or are curious about.

For example, consider attending a meetup for hikers, taking a pottery class, or signing up for Zumba or Yoga at a local spot and spark up conversations with people you meet there. It is easier for some people than others to have small talk with people of any age or social stature, but for some of us, it takes a lot of time, energy, and effort to approach someone new. To make it worse, television shows and films show us a world where hanging out with friends or strangers is super easy. Let’s dive in and explore some tips and tricks on making friends when you have a shy personality. I’ll focus on making real-life friends, rather than forming online connections, where you may talk to over text, but never meet up.

The truth is, many struggle when it comes to finding a space in college where they fit in. The Calm app puts the tools to feel better in your back pocket, with personalized content to manage stress and anxiety, get better sleep, and feel more present in your life. What matters is finding the right people — the ones you feel comfortable enough to open up to.

These work similarly to their on-campus counterparts; the sessions are simply online instead of in-person. As a result, they’re a solid way for your student to meet with other like-minded people who are interested in a subject that intrigues them. Whether your student has video- or forum-based online classrooms, engaging in any discussions gives them a chance to converse with other students or at least ensure they’re seen. Make sure to take part in large group discussions and any smaller breakout sessions. In time, that can lead to opportunities for stronger connections, as other students may respond to your student’s input or ask them to join a study group.

Whether it’s a book club, a sports team, or a cooking class, these environments naturally lend themselves to meeting like-minded people, helping you form friendships quicker and for longer. By following these tips and staying open to new experiences, you can gradually overcome your shyness and establish meaningful relationships. Over time, these online interactions can turn into real-world friendships.

So you can’t go up a group of five people at a party and try to join their discussion. But you can approach a single friendly-looking person, albeit after needing five minutes to talk yourself into it? When you’re in a conversation accept the words may not come to you as easily, but do what you can to contribute and keep it going. There are a lot of reasons why it’s so much easier to make friends as a kid, but one of the primary reasons is that you have school to connect you. If you’re already out of school, take a class at your local community college or learning center. Now that you have the confidence, it’s time to look at how to navigate social situations.

Each kind of college has unique amenities, benefits, and drawbacks. As a result, students need to consider what’s at their disposal, allowing them to select approaches that make sense for their environment. Consider attending events that promote casual conversations, like community fairs or book signings. Isolation decreases in these environments, making low-stakes exchanges easier to initiate. You might say “Hi” to a neighbor or comment on the weather to someone in line. These short exchanges reduce pressure and help build confidence.

Start small by practicing conversations with family members or in front of a mirror. Try deep breathing exercises before social situations – breathe in for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, then breathe out for 4 counts. Making friends can feel scary sometimes, but you’re not alone! Many teens face challenges when trying to connect with others, and the good news is that these barriers can be overcome with the right strategies and mindset. Having good friends actually helps you figure out who you are and teaches you how to communicate effectively with different people.

It’s possible that you’re falling into a comparison trap and feeling inadequate based on what you think you “should” want or have. While I recognize that “just do it” might not feel like helpful advice, making friends in college really comes down to putting yourself out there. Any small connection can be a way to transition into a deeper conversation and get a feel for whether or not there’s potential for a real friendship. As a clinical psychologist offering therapy in Nashville (and beyond), I’m passionate about helping college students adjust to this new phase of life. While it can be exciting, it can also be an incredibly overwhelming, isolating time.

Often, it’s possible to rekindle old friendships with people just by reaching out via text or social media to say “Hi” or catch up. Even if they don’t respond, you can still feel good knowing you made an effort to reconnect. Over time, this will make conversations feel easier and more natural. Instead, other people will begin coming to you, taking some pressure off. This is especially important if you tend to dread, overthink, or rehearse ways to start conversations or approach people. Scheduling regular catch-ups—whether it’s a video call, lunch, or a quick chat—promotes a sense of continuity.

You might feel drained after social interactions and need to recharge. A simple message like, “I love hanging out, but I need some downtime to recharge,” promotes understanding. Online platforms provide a comfortable setting for shy introverts to connect with others. You can find various communities that align with your interests and engage in conversations without the immediate pressure of face-to-face interactions.

There’s an element of luck involved and they may not pay off. One of the problems shyness causes is that you have to leave more of your social life to chance, since you can’t create as many opportunities yourself. This article may help you make friends in spite of your shyness, but you have to be realistic about how much it can hinder you. If you’re not feeling any of your current coworkers, consider getting a low-stress side hustle you love where you’re likely to meet new people. Parents can offer support by encouraging their teen to participate in activities they enjoy, helping them practice conversation skills, and providing a safe space to talk about their feelings. Now that you have some tools for conversations, it’s time to look at building your confidence.

Begin With Small Talk

” Making plans with a classmate to study together or DMing someone on Instagram to ask them a question about the homework can be low-stakes ways to potentially kickstart a new connection. This quickstart guide will help you overcome your feelings of self-doubt to become a confident introvert. So, if you’re in a friendship with a much more extroverted person, make sure that both of you can compromise when needed. This means if they are having a birthday bash for their 30th birthday and invite you to come, it might be worth if for you to attend even though it’s outside of your comfort zone. They typically prefer to hang out in small, quieter groups rather than larger crowds of people in highly social environments. If you’ve bonded with someone, try to keep the connection going.

Join An Online Study Group

If you enjoy games, for example, the Pick Me Up Party Game can serve as a perfect icebreaker at gatherings. One of the most common hurdles shy people face is initiating conversations. Start with small, non-committal topics, like asking about someone’s day or complimenting them on something they’re wearing. These casual interactions will help you practice initiating a conversation without the pressure of deep discussions. While the pandemic may have made in-person communication much harder, it did leave the door open for virtual connection. Whether you hang out with friends over FaceTime or have Zoom dates, you can still form and maintain friendships with other college students through the screen.

Use the button below to get 20% off your first month at BetterHelp + a $50 coupon valid for any SocialSelf course. To receive your $50 SocialSelf coupon, sign up for BetterHelp using the orange button. Email the order confirmation to SocialSelf to get your unique coupon code. Take a quiz, get matched, and start getting support via phone or video sessions. Since we are born, this beautiful bond undergoes a gamut of transitions.

In this article on how to make friends if you are shy, I offer a series of practical tips to help shy or reserved people expand their social circle. If you’re shy or introverted, finding a group of like-minded individuals can be very comforting and they can be easy to bond with. The beauty of clubs and communities is that they’re formed around a common interest, so you already have something to talk about. I’m giving advice on how to make friends while you’re still shy, but that’s not a permission slip to be utterly passive. Yeah, you’re not as outgoing and confident as you’ll hopefully be one day, but still do what you can. Being moderately shy doesn’t mean you’re utterly incapable of doing anything for yourself.

Start with a simple, low-pressure opener like, “Hi, I’m your name. ” Having a few conversation starters in mind can ease the initial awkwardness. Shyness often stems from negative thoughts, such as fearing judgment or assuming people won’t like you.

Making friends as a shy introvert might feel daunting but remember it’s all about taking small steps. Embrace your unique qualities and use them to your advantage. Finding the right balance between social engagement and alone time is crucial.

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